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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24296401">sehnsucht</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrpascals/pseuds/mrpascals'>mrpascals</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>redamancy [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:46:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24296401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrpascals/pseuds/mrpascals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You’re still upset by the heartbreaking news you’ve received and accidentally snap at your family.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV) &amp; Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>redamancy [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705636</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>126</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>sehnsucht</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this will be the last part to this series, thank you to everyone who commented and supported me!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>sehnsucht (n)</b>: the inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what, a yearning for far, familiar, non-earthy land one can identify as one’s home.<b><br/></b></p>
<p>Din calls your name as you walk in front of him. You don’t want to talk to him. You don’t want to argue. You don’t want to fight. So you just take a deep breath and walk faster, hoping to get to the ship before it starts raining.</p>
<p>“Please–” He tries to reason with you. “Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you.”</p>
<p>Din convinced you to go to one doctor’s appointment in Napater, a very rich planet that has the best doctors in the galaxy. You were hesitant, you didn’t want to at first, but he said he wanted to be with you this time. You felt guilty for not taking him on the first appointment back in Serenno, so you agreed. </p>
<p>But you didn’t think it’d be harder than the first time. You had to put yourself through the same exams you did in Serenno, only to hear the exact same words from the doctor. The chances of you getting pregnant were less than one percent. Din asked about other alternatives and the doctor explained all of them, but they were too expensive and you didn’t have enough credits for the treatments and procedures.</p>
<p>He calls your name once more and you take another deep breath, feeling the tears sting your eyes.</p>
<p>“What?! Isn’t this what you wanted?!” You snap, turning your heels and looking at him. “Do you believe me now?!”</p>
<p>“<em>Cyare</em>–”</p>
<p>“Don’t <em>Cyare</em> me!” You interrupt him, raising a hand as he reaches for you. Hot tears stream down your face as you look at him. “I didn’t want to come here.”</p>
<p>He knows. He knows you’re still upset about it and he knows doing that procedure once more was hard for you. Maybe he was selfish to have brought you here, but he just wanted to understand. He wanted to be there for you.</p>
<p>Din follows you in silence, heart heavy. When the ship comes to view, you start to feel the drops of rain on your hot skin. Swallowing the tears, you wait for Din to lower the ramp to the hull of the ship; anxious for your kid’s embrace, the only thing that could stop you from crying at the moment, you power walk inside towards the small compartment that the Child would usually be hidden in the rare times you left without him. As you press the button, you see him still napping, just like you left him.</p>
<p>“Hi, baby.” Your voice is soft as you pick him up, a small whimper comes out from his mouth, and he opens his eyes, looking at you with sleepy big orbits. “Did you have a good nap?”</p>
<p>You hear Din closing the hatch behind you and calling your name once more; you close your eyes, bringing the child closer to you, touching your forehead with his. He gives you a small whimper and moves in your arms, trying to free himself of the bundle of blankets that wrapped him like a burrito. Once he’s free, after your help, he stretches and yawn, wrapping his little arms around your neck. Turning around to face Din, you see him staring at you both and you start to feel guilty for snapping at him.</p>
<p>The Child looks at Din and smiles, stretching his arms towards him. The Mandalorian approaches you and takes him in his arms and you watch as he gives his dad a hug, just like he did with you.</p>
<p>“I believed you the first time,” Din says, his voice soft over the modulator. Sighing, you close your eyes, shaking your head. “I just–”</p>
<p>“Just drop it, Din.” You interrupt him before he can explain himself; tears burn your eyes again and you try to hold them in and shake your head, heading to the cockpit. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”</p>
<p>“Sweet–”</p>
<p>“Just fucking drop it! This is already hard enough to me, okay, I don’t wanna fucking talk about it!” </p>
<p>You raise your voice, but immediately regret it. The Child gets startled by your voice and frowns at you, his ears flopping downwards and his big eyes watering. <em>Shit</em>. You realize your mistake and quickly try to fix it, in vain.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Mommy’s sorry.” You try to hold him, but he buries his little face on Din’s chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”</p>
<p>He starts crying loudly and you drop your arms on your side, feeling… Well, feeling everything. Sadness, anger, hopelessness. You realize you’re not mad at Din for making you go to Napater, but at yourself. You feel like it’s all your fault, because there’s something wrong with you that keeps you from having children the conventional way. And deep down, way deep down inside you, you had a little bit of hope the doctor seen in Serenno was wrong. You had a tiny bit of hope that you were normal, that you were okay. But it was shattered. </p>
<p>
  <em>Less than one percent.</em>
</p>
<p>Din takes your hand, pulling you out of your mind and squeezes, giving you an assuring nod. Tears start falling from your eyes, but before you can apologize he walks past you towards the cockpit.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Laying down on the bed in your quarters, the one you share with Din, you face the cold metal wall this time. It’s been hours since Napater and he hasn’t talked to you ever since your outburst. How could he, if every time he tried, you pushed him away? He was giving you the space you wanted, but you started to feel so alone in his absence.</p>
<p>Guilt is your own personal hell. It’s starting to eat you on the inside, leaving you tired. You’re tired of crying, you’re tired of feeling helpless, you’re tired of laying down. You wish you were in the cockpit, with the kid and Din, laughing and talking like you always did. Tears spill from your eyes for what it feels the millionth time.</p>
<p>It’s the shuffling of sheets you hear first, and then you feel a very light weight on your shoulder behind you. Lying on your back, you turn your head to see the kid sitting on the bed, staring curiously at you.</p>
<p>“Hey, green bean,” You whisper to him and he smiles at you, throwing his little body at you and hugging your neck as much as he could with those tiny, tiny arms. Maker, he’s so small and cute and adorable and he’s probably already forgotten you raised your voice in his presence. Sniffing, you lay your palm on his back, pulling him closer to you. When you speak, your voice is nothing but a whisper, so small you know only he can hear it, even though you’re alone in the room. “I’m sorry I yelled, okay? Mommy’s so sorry, can you forgive me?”</p>
<p>A small sob escapes from your lips when you feel his little head nodding against you, indicating he fully understood you. All this fuss about the infertility news, the sadness and the argument with Din, you ended up forgetting you already have the most precious baby in the whole galaxy. How could you? The most adorable creature in the world, the most rare, exquisite bundle of joy. And he was yours. Yours and Din’s. You’ve got everything you need right in front of you.</p>
<p>“I love you so much,” You whisper to him. “So, so much.”</p>
<p>This is the scene Din finds when he enters the quarters, looking for the Child that escaped his supervising a few minutes ago: you holding the kid like if you life depended on it, him holding you back like if he knew. He approaches you both with the intention of taking the kid to give you space, but you take him by surprise as you open your eyes to look at him.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I–”</p>
<p>“Let him stay,” You ask him. “Please.”</p>
<p>He looks at you and considers for a moment, then nods. His eyes linger on you for a moment before turning around to leave. Your voice stops his movements before he could reach the door.</p>
<p>“Stay with us?”</p>
<p>It’s soft, so soft and inviting. Memories from when he was just falling in love with you hit him like a train, memories he would never forget. It takes him back to the night you first asked him to lay with you. It was a cold night and you had caught a strong flu, one that were taking you longer to recover. You were freezing, even though you were burning up with fever. With that soft, inviting voice you asked him to stay.</p>
<p>“The ship…” He trails off and you give him a disappointed look. You know he never sleeps when the ship is in hyperspace. It’s too dangerous.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“We’re almost there,” He promises.</p>
<p>“Where?”</p>
<p>He hesitates before answering. “Sorgan.”</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>You haven’t been to Sorgan in so long you’d almost forgotten how hot the days are. As soon as you left the ship, you felt the hot breeze on your face and almost groaned. Din said you all needed a break and decided to say for a couple of days in the forgotten planet. You didn’t complain, you actually agreed you needed a break from the Razor Crest and the bounty hunting life you both had. So he rented a small apartment room in an Inn for all of you to stay. It wasn’t much bigger than the Razor Crest but it was something. It had a small dining room, with a table and a separated room with a bed.</p>
<p>And, of course, the Child was ecstatic. During the first day, you both stopped by the small village you once had helped. He was so happy to see his old friends, now a little more grown up than before, you could cry when you saw the smile on his little face.</p>
<p>It was good to see everyone again. Especially Cara. You’ve grown found of the woman during your days in Sorgan, when training the people from the village. It was someone to relate to. The day you arrived, you spent a night at the cantina, just drinking and talking and laughing. Din was there too, but he wasn’t <em>there</em>. He was quiet and barely talked to you, only responding to Cara’s comments and questions. It made your heart ache, as if he didn’t want to be there.</p>
<p>Tonight, it’s just you and Cara. Claiming he was taking the Child to the village, he told you to have fun. So you came down to the establishment to have a couple of drinks with her.</p>
<p>“You’re my friend right?” Cara asks, after taking a sip from her drink. You nod, bringing your cup to your lips. “You’d tell me if something happened to you, right?”</p>
<p>Your eyes meet hers, a frown between your brows as you set your cup down.</p>
<p>“What, you don’t think I’ve noticed?” She laughs. “When I first met you, the only time he wasn’t near you was… Never. Now he barely talks to you.”</p>
<p>Swallowing, you tear your gaze away from her and look at your unfinished drink, considering telling her the truth. A silent pause follows the moment until she calls your name, worry in her voice when you shake your head.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Cara insists.</p>
<p>“We, uh…” You exhale deeply. “We were trying for another baby.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” She raises her eyebrows slightly, in surprise.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it turns out that I can’t.” Saying it without choking on your tears is weird. Maybe it’s the alcohol.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Doctor said the chances of me getting pregnant are less than one percent.” You say, shrugging a bit. “And I guess, I’ve been… distant after that.” You continue. “Back in Napater, we had an argument– Well, I… yelled at him and…”</p>
<p>You trailed off, feeling Cara’s hand on your shoulder. Tears are in your eyes, and you don’t bother to hold them in; you’re so tired of crying.</p>
<p>“I just– I feel guilty, you know?” Your voice cracks. “He really wanted another kid.”</p>
<p>“Well, there are treatments for this kind of problem, right?” She tried to comfort you.</p>
<p>You shake your head. “We don’t have enough credits.” A beat in silence hangs heavy in the air as you finish your drink.</p>
<p>“You can always… Steal another baby,” Cara shrugs. “You’re an expert on that.”</p>
<p>A laugh escapes your mouth, your shoulders shaking with it. “I guess you’re not wrong.”</p>
<p>She smiles at you, nodding.</p>
<p>“Listen,” She says, turning her body to face you and you do the same. “You know him better than I do, but what I know, ever since I first saw him with you, is that he loves you very much. It’s ridiculous, anyone can see how much that buckethead adores you.” You grin, timidly, looking away for a moment. “Be honest with him. Tell him you feel the way you feel.”</p>
<p>Cara’s simple advice makes you realize that maybe you weren’t completely honest with Din. Maybe it wasn’t fair of you to hide your feelings and your sadness and then lash out at him like you did.</p>
<p>You sigh, nodding at her. “You going soft on me, Carasynthia?”</p>
<p>She lets out a laugh and finishes her drink. “Fucking <em>never</em>.”</p>
<p>Laughing you smile at her, thankful you met her tonight. Cara was never one for being soft and understanding, but she was a good friend. A friend you’re grateful for.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>It’s dark when you go back to the inn, the sun long gone before you even left the cantina. When you enter the small room, you see Din sitting on the table working on cleaning his blasters.</p>
<p>“You’re back already,” You say as you close the door behind you. He tilts his helmet towards you and nods. “Where’s the green bean?”</p>
<p>“I let him spend the night,” He says, voice raspy, altered by the modulator.</p>
<p>“Oh.” You stand by the door, awkwardly waiting for him to make the next move.</p>
<p>“He’ll be alright. Omera will take care of him.” He stands up from his chair. “How’s Cara?”</p>
<p>This is the most he’s talked to you ever since you got here, so you enjoy the most you can. “She’s good. Said she missed you tonight.”</p>
<p>A modulated chuckle echoes the place and you feel the corners of your lips curve into a small smile. When you speak, your voice is just a whisper, almost inaudible.</p>
<p>“I missed you too.”</p>
<p>Din doesn’t respond and the smile falls from your face almost as quick as he looks away from you.</p>
<p>“I brought you dinner,” He says, walking towards the bedroom. “I’m going to lie down.”</p>
<p>You don’t feel like eating at the moment, your stomach twisting in anxiety as you look at the food that’s set on the table. But you do sit down and eat the food he brought you, thankful for it. After, you discard the leftovers, and turn off the lights, stalking after him to the bedroom.</p>
<p>When you enter the small bedroom, you see him lying on his side, facing the wall. You try to be as silent as possible when you change your clothes, even though you know he’s still awake. His back faces you as you lie down and you stare at his hair, a brown mess of locks, fighting the urge to run your fingers through them. The bed isn’t bigger than yours at the ship and you’re so close, but still you fight every fiber in your body to not touch him.</p>
<p>“Din,” You whisper in the dark, after a moment in silence. He hums in response, his voice indicating he’s wide awake. You hesitate, suddenly feeling a little anxious. It’s ridiculous, you think, why are you so nervous to tell him that you’re sorry? You’ve been with him for years, saying sorry wasn’t a new thing in your relationship. “I– I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Din doesn’t speak for a moment and then rolls over on the bed to face you. His eyes are warm and he’s so close you can feel when he takes a deep breath.</p>
<p>“Why are you apologizing, sweet girl?” His voice is soft, so soft it makes you wanna cry.</p>
<p>“Because I was a bitch,” You answer, looking away from him. “And– And you’re not talking not me because I yelled–”</p>
<p>His hand touches your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin and you stop talking when he gives you a soft look.</p>
<p>“I just thought you wanted space, my love.”</p>
<p>“I thought so, too.” Your voice is small, but he hears you just fine.</p>
<p>Din moves his hand to the back of your neck and kisses you tenderly. When he pulls back, the words spill out of your mouth.</p>
<p>“I haven’t been honest with you.” You look at him as he waits for you to continue. “When we went to Napater, I had a little bit of hope, and then–” You exhale. “And then it was shattered. You kept asking the doctor about alternatives and treatments and I just kept asking myself– What’s the point? We don’t have money, we can barely survive with the kid, and– And I feel guilty, okay? For snapping at you, for making the kid cry, for– Not being able to–”</p>
<p>“Come here.” He pulls you closer to him and you bury your face on his shoulder, only noticing the tears spilling from your eyes as your skin makes contact with the fabric of his shirt. His voice sounds choked as he speaks. “Please don’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault.”</p>
<p>His hand cradles the back of your hair as the other is hooked on your lower back, keeping your body glued to his.</p>
<p>“It’s not your fault,” He repeats, whispering in your ear. You nod onto him and sniff, pulling away and trying to wipe the tears and snot from his shirt. Hooking a finger under your chin, he makes you look at him. “I’ll be with you until the end of the times. Either you give me a child or not.”</p>
<p>Fresh tears water your eyes as you feel your chest getting lighter with every word he says. It’s like a weight that’s been lifted from your shoulders.</p>
<p>“Do you promise?” You whisper and lean forward to kiss him.</p>
<p>He smiles on your mouth. “I promise.”</p>
<p>Din pulls you closer, deepening the kiss and moving his hand from your lower back to the back of your thighs. He tugs at you, hooking a hand on the back of your knee to pull you towards him as he lies on his back, making you straddle him. Your hair falls on his face, but he doesn’t seem to mind; your hands cradle his face as his travel between your hips and waist, occasionally digging his finger on your flesh. A quiet moan vibrates in your throat as he gives your ass a firm squeeze, caressing the skin under the thin fabric of your nightgown.</p>
<p>“I’ll never get tired of this,” He whispers, diggin his fingers on your soft flesh again and you laugh on his mouth, feeling your core suddenly burn with desire.</p>
<p>Grinding against him, you move your lips to kiss his jawline and neck, sucking on that sweet spot below his ear. Maker, he loves when you do this to him; he pulls the hem of your nightgown upwards to cup your bare ass, groaning and moaning your name. You pull back to look at him in the dark, the locks of hair framing your face and he looks at you with soft eyes. Then, your hands lean on his chest as you move to sit up, on him; his hands immediately push the spaghetti straps of your gown down your shoulders, exposing your breasts to him. Din swallows, feeling his mouth go dry at the sight.</p>
<p>“I love when you wear this,” He says, his hands cupping your tits.</p>
<p>“I know.” You smile as you grind harder on him, feeling how hard he is and how wet you are at each movement, closing your eyes and moaning softly.</p>
<p>Looking down at him, you take his hardness out of his trousers and your hands and squeeze it lightly, pumping a few times before reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it up; he helps you take it off him and does the same with your gown. You lean down to press a kiss on his chest, now grinding your own wet cunt on his length.</p>
<p>“Fuck, baby,” He says. “You’re so good to me.”</p>
<p>“No, Din,” You answer, taking him again and guiding him to your entrance. “<em>You’re</em> so good to me.”</p>
<p>A loud moan escapes your mouth as you sink down on him, feeling him fill you completely. He grabs your hips and digs his fingers on your flesh, grunting your name as he pushes you down even more. His hips bucks upwards thrusting into you as you begin to ride him. It’s not like it’s been a while since you’ve both had sex, but tonight it feels different. It’s like you haven’t seen him after a long mission and welcomed him in the best way possible. The pace is slow at first, but Din increases the speed, making you dig your nails on his chest. He moans your name, slamming his hips on yours and you gasp, a sly smile on your lips.</p>
<p>“M-maker, you feel so good–” He grunts, his nails digging on your flesh. “I’ll never get tired of fucking this pretty pussy–”</p>
<p>“Fuck, Din,” You moan, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll cum–” A gasp leave your lips. “I’ll cum–”</p>
<p>“Does that feel good, baby?” He interrupts you, watching your breasts bounce in front of him. “You take me so well, you look–” A grunt escapes his lips. “You look s-so pretty on top of me like this, fuck.”</p>
<p>His words are the trigger you needed to reach your orgasm. You can feel it coming, deep down in your stomach, as you squeeze him down there. Din seems to sense it too, because he grabs the back of your neck, pulling you down to lie on his chest as he thrusts inside you deeper.</p>
<p>“Din…” You warn him, burying your face on his chest.</p>
<p>“I know, <em>Meshl’a</em>,” He replies, his arm holding your body to his. “Let it out, honey, let it all out.”</p>
<p>And you do. Your orgasm hits you with so much strength and intensity that your legs twitch around him. You moan and grunt, cursing softly and grabbing the sheets under him for support. You have no idea what hits you, but you know it’s the best orgasm he’s ever given to you. Din slows down his pace and put his hands on the side of your face, making you look at him.</p>
<p>“You okay?” He asks, concerned. Of course he noticed the twitch of your legs and the way you came hard on him.</p>
<p>“I’m great.” You nod, smiling at him.</p>
<p>He pulls out of you for a second, just to roll you both over on the mattress, hovering you and guiding himself inside you again. Your sensitive walls welcome him back, taking him inside and you smile, closing your eyes as he buries his face on the crook of your neck. He slams your hips together, and you tangle your fingers on his hair; you know he’s close too.</p>
<p>“Cum inside me, baby,” You whisper in his ear and he groans loudly, his pace becoming sloppy and slow. </p>
<p>You feel him throb inside you, a muffled moan echoes the room as he fills you completely. The warm, sticky substance, somehow, make you whole.</p>
<p>“Maker, I love you.” He pulls out of you with a groan and lies down by your side, breathing hard.</p>
<p>You immediately hug his torso, laying your head on his shoulder and pressing a kiss on his cheek, nuzzling his jawline. He hugs you back and sigh, staying like that for a moment, waiting for your hearts to calm down, your breathings be back to its normal speed.</p>
<p>“Back at the Crest,” Din starts, pulling you closer to him. “When I saw you with the kid on our bed, I– I couldn’t stop thinking…” He trails off and you move your hand to his face, yours still buried on his neck, encouraging him to speak. “You’re such a great mom.”</p>
<p>Tears burn your closed eyes, threatening to spill, and you swallow hard, tightening your grip on him.</p>
<p>“You’re so good to him,” He says, his voice cracking. “And to me too.”</p>
<p>You take a shaky breath, feeling the tears stream down your face and drip on his neck.</p>
<p>“I– I got so caught up in the bad news, that I forgot we already have a baby,” You say, fighting the tears. “Maybe– Maybe just a miracle will get me pregnant but… That’s okay, Din. Because I have you and him.”</p>
<p>It takes you a second to realize he’s also crying, his voice cracking as he speaks.</p>
<p>“I really love you.” He sobs and you pull back to look at him, brushing his hair away from his forehead, a gesture he’d grown to love during the years with you.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” You answer, pressing your lips against his.</p>
<p>Maybe you’ll never get pregnant. Maybe a miracle will happen, maybe it won’t. But you know that’s okay, because your family will always be there for you. Your small, weird family.</p>
<p>But yours.</p>
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